A time to recollect

The year is coming to an end and it’s a time for recollection and a time for setting new goals. We had our parent-teacher evaluation meeting with Veer’s teachers this week. I am proud to say that Veer is on par or average with his peers!!! As a first-time mom who always doubts herself, this was a reassurance more for me than for him. I have learnt sooooooo much about myself and learnt to do things differently. Children are amazing reminders to stop and take it slow and learn and observe.

2014 watched my baby turn into a little boy. Not just physically, but his personality is starting to come out as well. I cannot wait for the fun challenges and experiences that the next year has in store for us. And as he has been teaching me from when he was in my belly – You cannot plan anything for your children and hence no specific goals or milestones for 2015. I am going to focus more on child-led learning and work with him on his interests.

For Everything else there is Mastercard...

Over the Thanksgiving week we did a trip to Orlando and Miami. Now a Disney trip is a momentous occasion in a person’s life and I couldn’t wait to see how Veer would fare. Lil Veer (not so little anymore – He turned 3 in November) has basically flipped out when he has seen any of the characters in their life size avatars. Veer loves Elmo, on a trip to New York a few months ago we took him to Times Square so he could take a picture with Elmo and the kid clung to my neck, burst out into tears and refused to even look at Elmo. With this and many such similar experiences, I was dreading Disney. However, a tiny part of me figured that if I speak to him about it, I could prepare him for it and maybe it wouldn’t be soooo bad. So I told him about how Mickey and co are actually really tall and taller than his dad and me. But they are really nice and he shouldn’t be afraid. For weeks, Veer kept telling himself that he will not be scared of Mickey. On the day off, I was still dreading it and we actually had to stand in line to see Mickey who was inside and not roaming the streets of Magic Kingdom like the other Disney characters. When it was our turn lil Veer was soooo brave and he shook hands and high fived and said he wanted to touch Mickey’s nose (which Mickey was nice enough to let him do.)

I am incredibly proud of my little man for overcoming his fears. And I felt glad that Veer’s first experience at Disney was a fruitful one and hopefully when we bring him back a few years from now I will sit in dread as he rides Space Mountain.

Veer Says...

One day, I showed up at Veer’s daycare in gym pants and a t-shirt. The weather permits me to wear a jacket and hence I could get away with the t-shirt. As soon as I enter Veer’s class –

Veer: Mamma why are you wearing gym pants?

Me: Because I came from home baby.

A while later, in the car on the ride home

Veer: For my birthday party you can wear gym pants.

Me: But I want to wear jeans papa.

Veer: You can wear a saree.  You can look pretty in a saree mamma.

We went to a friend’s birthday party this weekend. The little girl I am assuming was tired at the end of the party…

Me: Thank S for the party Veer.

Veer: Thank you S.

We got home and Veer was reporting the party to dad.

Veer: Naana, S didn’t say your welcome to me.

We are just getting over a stomach bug which involved many sleepless nights, multiple doctor visits and an emergency room visit. On the first day back to school I was telling Veer about the benefits of washing his hands to avoid going to the doctor again.

Me: Veer amma, you must wash your hands when you go pee pee or potty.

My Mom (On Phone): Veer wash your hands when you come back from playing and before eating food

(Basically, my mom and I were bombarding him with instructions)

Veer: Mamma, I am wearing a diaper today, I don’t need to wash my hands when I go pee pee.

I want to be an engineer too

The other day Veer & D visited me in the office and he finally saw that his mom works in the “office” just like his dad does. (I suspect he thought that I just kinda wandered around after dropping him at daycare) Now on an aside, two people that Veer absolutely adores is D’s brother (Dr. Karthik) and for some strange reason his pediatrician Dr.Monica. We have spent many evenings where I am getting a shot and Band-Aid because Dr.Veer is “being Dr.Monica”.  This has lead me to believe that Veer always wanted to be a doctor. So the other day, that Veer visited me in the office we were chatting about what Mamma and Naana did. I told him that we were both engineers. And all of a sudden he went – I want to be an engineer like Mamma & Naana!! I thought that this was just a passing phase where he learnt a new word. So a few days later, I asked him again:

Me: Veer, what do you want to be when you grow up? A doctor like Peddanana, Dr. Monica and tata or a lawyer like the other tata or an engineer like Mamma & Naana.

V: I want to be an engineer like Mamma & Naana.

I am of course immensely proud because he wants to grow up like his mom and dad. Both my husband and I chose to be engineers and actually had to negotiate a bit with our respective families to become engineers. I am sure that when the time comes Veer will chose his career and I will fondly remember this interesting conversation that my little baby and I had.

Mommy Musings - Meals - Cooking and Eating Them

I am a huge foodie though I am not a fan of actually cooking it. Let me rephrase that – I love to eat but not cook. I have never felt interested in collecting recipes, buying ingredients or possessing the right equipment to even cook. Don’t get me wrong – I have been cooking since I was 21 and on a fairly regular basis since I have been married but it was more to subsist with the bare bones minimum and take out. My poor husband hasn't complained ever (and for this I give him credit.)

However, all this changed in 2011 when a little man came into my life and more when he started solids at some point in 2012. My little Veer has forced me to start reading labels and ensure that I get “clean” (less processed or unprocessed food) into him.  I don’t plan to turn into one of those vigilante moms and he does get treats like chocolates or popsicles and if I had the time I would cook his morning waffles from scratch, however I am ensuring that the popsicles are all fruit based and the waffles are whole grain or whole wheat.

Veer is an extremely poor eater and in the past meal times have turned into battles. I have now come to realize that I don’t want to make meal times about traumatic experiences and arguments because a toddler can and will push your buttons. (It took me only ~ three years to come to this realization). In typical “desi-mom” style I think my kid doesn’t eat at all during the day when he is in daycare. There are days when this is the case and therefore I attempt to feed him a proper meal at dinner.  Earlier there were Veer meals and there were mom and dad meals. Now that he is approaching three I think that it is important that we have more family style meals and eat together at the table. Getting dinner on the table at a reasonable time is no ordinary feat.  I have come to realize that it involves lots of planning - this is isn’t just cooking dinner but actually planning ahead on what meals need to be made and buying the required vegetables and other ingredients over the weekend. (I hold down a full time job and a toddler’s social life which includes swim lessons, pick-up and drop from daycare and playdates). But like my baby, I am learning and taking baby steps. I can now say that I have a good enough pantry to make most Indian food.

My goals for the next few months include

• Making my own yogurt
• Preparing some menu items over the weekend to enable spending more time with Veer on the weekend.
• Making some Veer specific snacks which will interest him in eating during the day and not waiting till the end of the day to feed him dinner.

Conversations

A lot has been happening in the last few weeks. Little Veer has begun making huge strides in terms of speech. Every day is a new discovery for me. For instance yesterday I was talking to my mother whom Veer calls “Ammamma”.

Me: Veer do you want to talk to my mother?

Veer: No. I want to talk to Naana’s uncle. (Naana calls my dad uncle)

Me: Ok, cool. Say hi.

Veer: Can I see my tata? (Veer calls my dad Tata.)

Me: No ma. You can’t see Tata on the phone.

Veer: How about on Skype???

I wasn’t even aware that he knew that Naana’s Uncle and Tata are the same person. And Skype will let him see his Tata.

Muddy Puddles - Puddle Jumping

Veer is currently going through a Peppa Pig obsession and everything he does is what Peppa does on her show. We are having some seasonal rain out bursts here in New England and sure enough when I went to pick Veer up he was coated in dirt and his shoes and socks were sopping wet. Without even asking him I knew the answer – Peppa and her family jump in muddly puddles when it rains!! I then asked him why he jumped in puddles without wearing rain boots (which Peppa and her family wear). This morning as I was putting on  his Crocs (to enable jumping in muddy puddles without wetting shoes) I asked him if he was going to jump in muddy puddles and he went into his closet and pulled out his oversized rain boots that he wanted to bring to school with him to jump in muddy puddles. For the first time in my adult life I prayed for rain so my baby can jump in muddy puddles.

Summer 2014

So many things have happened in the last few weeks. I keep thinking that I should document it on this blog and then life comes in the way… So I thought I will document a quick high level summary.

Veer has been in preschool for about 3 weeks and the transition has been surprisingly easy. I am almost scared to say how he has taken to preschool. However, I do get the feeling that he is a little overwhelmed. He isn’t the super star that he used to be in Toddlers.

Veeru graduated the first level of swim classes and they had the kids do an adorable graduation walk in the pool… I cannot believe my baby is growing up sooo fast. We start the next session in the fall.

We took a trip to the Cape this weekend. My husband and I were raised in the coastal city of Madras/Chennai and we both love the water. (Though I suspect D likes it more for his Florida memories) Veer on the other hand flipped out! He was a lot happier making sandcastles on the beach. He was good for the approx. 3 hours that we were driving which totally baffled me.

Last but not the least, the hugest milestones of them all – We relinquished our white cuppy (Feeding bottle) for the paalu. S (The only baby who is younger than V) fictiously inherited them. This is a huge change and we are facing quite some resistance as this was the one thing V held onto as a security blanket.

My conversations with Veer are getting more meaningful by the day. As divine retribution, some of these are exactly things I said to my mom many many moons ago.

As we were getting ready to leave for school one morning and I was handing him his lunch box:

V: Mommy what is for lunch today?

Me: Idly

V: Again. We ate idly last night for dinner.

My baby is growing up! I cannot believe my little baby is growing up to be a little boy. I want my baby to be a baby for a little while longer. I am trying to squeeze as much summer as I can into the last few weeks of it that we have here in New England

Single Parenting & Traveling Singly

The past week was a first for us in a certain way – I had to do international trip and left Veer behind with his dad. Now, I have traveled internationally when Veer was a little baby but he was a lot less mobile, slept most of the day and his maternal grandmom was around to help.  Veer goes to full time day care so he would be occupied most of the day during the week. But these guys had a couple of weekends without mom and that was what I was most nervous about.

I have traveled for 27 years before Veer appeared in the picture. However, the whole time I was travelling I had the feeling that I was missing something, and I was - No stroller, diaper bag, medicines or toys!!!! Going through the dreaded (and terribly, terribly, terribly slow!!) security check was a breeze and was completed in around 15 minutes (Most of which involved watching slow and incompetent travelers one of whom had a whole pineapple in his hand luggage!!) On the flight, I was able to actually watch inflight entertainment (OK, I slept the whole 20 hour flight to and from India).

I missed my baby, my fellow traveler. I missed his curious questions; I missed observing old things in a new way through his eyes. When he and I went to India earlier this year, everything was a new and awesome experience. He was curious about the planes, the train ride between terminals, his ability to watch lungi dance on the tv in front of his seat, autos in Chennai, cows on the road – All the stuff I take for granted and run with…

I missed my baby!!

And here is what Dad had to say:

Mahathi was out on a whirlwind trip to India last week and it was just Veer and I. I would say that the entire operation was a success but slightly tiring on some days. Weekdays were easier than weekends, since both of us had full days. Veer kind of understood that it was just the two of us and cooperated well. 

Preparing his lunch was the key. I wrote down things on a sheet of paper what I wanted to pack and followed it. Cannot forget the water bottle, cannot forget the main course. I didn't forget to give him his shoes since they started play ball last week. But I completely forgot that he needed his crocs. Veer ended up using a girl's pink sandals!

But we had a lot of fun. Each evening we made sure we did something fun. One day we went to Friendly's for ice cream. Another day to the local reservoir to watch the waterbirds. We ate Popsicle with Tony thatha and Tazzie bow-bow. 

My biggest fear was if he fell sick, but luckily no such thing happened. 

Dropping him earlier than usual was challenging for him a bit: he had to get up earlier. Pick up was not too bad. I was able to leave earlier (had no meetings scheduled later in the day). I think he enjoyed his time with me as well. 

Koffee with Veer

Driving home last evening from work we had the following conversation

Me: Veeru, I am hungry ra.

Veer: Mamma, go drink your coffee

A few minutes later,

Me: Veer, you start preschool next month. You are becoming a big boy man.

Veer: Mom, I don't want to go to preschool. I want to go to college.

Point it Down

We are bang squat in the middle of potty training. And boy oh boy the fun questions that Veer is throwing our way... By and large I am letting Naana handle the whole training. On a recent trip to NYC, Naana was in the bathroom and hadn't locked the door. Veer walks in and goes “Point it down Naana. Point it down.”

Driving Mr.Veer

I bring Veer to daycare and back home everyday. Sometimes, my husband whose car is parked in the driveway leaves after us which causes me to drive slowly to avoid his car. I have been doing this for a while now, so I don’t think much about it. However, every time I am doing it Veer says to me “You can do it Mamma” followed by “Good job Mamma” after I have backed out completely! Each time this happens my heart warms up as my baby is looking out for me. 

This blog has died many deaths in the recent years. But like a phoenix rising from the ashes, I dust it off and bring it back up to life every few years. I have been told many a time in the recent past to document what my lil kiddo does. As usual in my crazy life, I haven’t done that hoping that my memory will serve me when he is in his 30s with his own children!!! Inspired by a beautiful little girl’s mom I have decided to use this blog to document his milestones and his random musings.

Right now, my little Veer says the most random things and they crack me up. He is a very curious little kid who observes minute details that would miss my line of sight. Our most recent conversation which cracked me up beyond words was as follows:

Veer: Mamma, where is Navi?

Me: Navi is at home buddy. Do you know that Navi’s mom is my sister? (He hasn’t grasped the concept of cousin as yet)

A long pause…

Veer: Prabhu mama is my brother.