Most Indians who come to the States loose a name.To honour the memories of our grandfathers and their grandfathers or grandmothers and their grandmothers we are named after them. And as the Bengali folks say we all have "Bhalo" names. Telugu folks last names are family names. And boy oh boy do we have weird last names.. They are usually either the profession our ancestors followed, our places that they originated from or deities they worshiped etc. I am thankful for this custom because I wouldn't for the world want a father's name/husband's name attached to my name. Because I am defined by me - my name. I would not want to think I belong to my father or husband. I am not an object to belong to another human being. That way I like to have family names because I would like to think that I cannot not belong to a family. I just don't float around in ether!!!
Post marriage women are expected to change their last names to indicate that she has changed families. As is very evident in Indian marriage rituals a lot of things are changed along with the family name. Now what I fail to understand is how does the gothram change? (Gothram indicates the clan you are born into (originates to certain saintly being!!). The concept being you cannot marry into the same clan because you are in some way a sibling of everyone in the same clan.) So anyway how does the clan I am born into change after marriage? I would like to think that my children would belong to the new clan. I just wish that the Shastras had some way to accomodate this changing gotra thingy with a timestamp. Born into this gothra - married into this gothra sort of thing.
What also bothers me primarily is that by changing last names does it mean that I do not belong anymore in the family into which I was born. Am I going to shed them like an old sweater.(That we all cling to old frayed sweaters is a whole other story). In fact, if we look back to the good old days, families were inter- married. A girl is given in marriage to her mother's brother. Why would they do something like that unless the mother wants her daughter to live in the family which she grew up with and loves. Lets face it. We aren't going to love them any less. If anything, we love them even more now that we don't live there anymore. (Personally, I have got to respect my parents even more after getting married. )So why delude ourselves into thinking by just changing names our loyalties change in anyway!!!! Once again, I can drive home my point with the gazillion mega serials on our television channels, especially a certain one that my husband and I just watched a couple of months ago, with Banupriya jumping around during the credits!!!
Now coming back to Indian folks who loose names once they come to the States. My husband lost a part of his name, so did my brother. I think maybe they just picked one and said, I am done with this name. Now my case is a little different from these two... I gained a name... I inherited a middle name and a new last name. BOA couldn't fit my now wonderfully big name on my credit card so they chopped it in ways they deemed right... It bothers me with the brutality with which they hacked a name but hey..like I said, What is in a Name? Its always in the mind..
Friday, December 12, 2008
Sunday, December 07, 2008
J'ai eu un délicieux repas
Last night my husband threw me a surprise dinner party for just the two of us. We went to the L'Espalier located in the Back Bay area of Boston,MA. This was easily one of the most delicious meals of my life.
An avid foodie, I watch the Food Network channel and over the last 2 years learned quite a bit about the difficulties of gourmet cooking. So I appreciated the meal from all angles.
Us Indians have unique food tastes and almost each state in the country has their own unique cuisine just like our languages. But just we say in India there is "Unity in Diversity", there is a unity in our food. Our savories are deliciously savory and most of our sweets are jarringly sweet. Watching our mothers(and their mothers) cook we know that a dollop of ghee(clarified butter) will take a dish to new heights, a dash of milk will give any base a creamier texture and frying anything will make it taste better. So.. French food was a unique experience for me and I had an epiphany. Ah well it isn't exactly an epiphany if dozens of people already know about it but whatever they say about the French it is all true.
Our evening started out with small cheese puffs, which were little bite sized pieces of heaven. I think they were filled with a goat cheese and the pastry shell was just the right bit of flaky. Very quickly our waitress(I am not even sure if I should call her that) came to help us out with the menu( which was primarily in French - which neither my husband nor I know) She suggested we try the autumn degustation on the vegetarian version. Having lived in the States for a couple of years now I am aware of the limitations of knowledge people have about vegetarian food, deeming us to be eating grass most of the time.. So, I had steeled myself to significantly watered down fare.. To add to my fears our hostess said "Don't worry you won't go out of here hungry". It immediately got me thinking "Oh no!! We need to go hunt out some place to eat something on the way home.." But boy oh boy! was I wrong!!!! Shortly afterward we were served appetizers which were once again out of this world. Mine was a little mashed potato dipped in egg and rolled in bread crumbs and Deepak's was a variation on coleslaw.. Reading about it would make them seem like everyday dishes but the flavors were intense.. The chef was able to intensify the flavors of the creamy potato and the egg. I could taste the egg as well as the potato as well as each single bread crumb!!!!! I got a single one and I thought (ever the skeptic) with such small portions I am never going to feel full.. As soon as our plates were removed and our cutlery replaced the soup was brought out.. What I want to keep stressing is that the dishes sound everyday but the flavors were anything but.. Now coming back.. we had cauliflower soup (which based on my attempts at it - can be significantly bland) but quoting Deepak " tasted like amrutham". We were offered a choice of Sourdough, Foccacia,Walnut and a Kalamata Olive bread with little pats of butter. I had the Foccacia and the Olive ones while Deepak had the other two and although I have eaten the Foccacia before never ever ever had such airy bread before.. The Olive bread was also delicious and intense. Our salad course was a tad difficult for me because of the arugala being a tad too spicy for my liking. But again the salad was a combination of sweet and spicy and a bit of tangy thrown in for good measure. Hence the one dish hit different portions of my pallete which never before have had to work all at once. Our main course was slightly Thai based. Dumplings stuffed with ginger and other seasonal vegetables but primarily the ginger taste coming through. They were flanking a blanched Sweet Potato(which I thought was initially mango or papayya - purely based on the visual) which was on a bed of arugala. It came with a bright red bell pepper sauce and was an appealing visual as much as it was to eat. There was also a bite of slightly grilled pineapple. By the end of this Deepak and I were in 7th heaven and mentally blowing kisses to the chef. Our waiter had mentioned that the chef is known for his Risotto and hence I was eagerly awaiting it. Knowing the effort that goes into making the Risotto I wanted to taste this labour of love. And did it live upto its name or what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Creamy Risotto with some kind of cheese it melted upon hitting the tongue. I am a fan and am now tempted to make it at home though I know that I could never ever re-create the magic.. Post the Risotto yours truly was full beyond measure. I have never been this full in the last 15 years of my life. I can say that confidently because as a kid when we used to go out I have gotten this full. And like a miracle they knew we would be full and waited a bit before they brought on the next course. The next course was a tropical fruit gellato with air bubbles on the side..I mean seriously, it wont do justice to call it foam but if you guys have watched any gourmet cooking show on tv you know what I am talking about!! Now, I am averse to any tropical fruits besides banana but the passion fruit with a hint of peach(thanks to Deepak for discovering this taste) and the tang of the grapefruit. For the first time in my 24 year exsistance I discovered the meaning of the expression melt in your mouth. It just literally melted in my mouth (especially the foam item). We then had our desert course which was again(how does he do it?????????) hitting different palletes (and all were sweet mind you).. One was a Banana flavored Chocolate cream, there was also a marshmellow, a chocolate mousse, yummmo Vanilla Ice cream, and more foam!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And of course little candles, as we were celebrating a special occasion in our lives.. Now yours truly was offered and accepted a cappuchino during my desert course, and I had prepared myself as most would that it would taste bitter because of the desert. I was speechless..It stood its ground in spite of the desert. I saved myself some ice -cream to keep an after taste in my mouth (thanks to Dhanalakshmi whom I have been frnds with for too long)
Oh and I almost forgot, we had a cheese course before our desert..... Deepak who is not normally a fan of the cheese loved this experience as much as yours truly who will eat cheese in any which form, shape or size.. I cannot say the names of most of the cheeses I ate, though I did save the menu but every single bite was different from the rest.. We had a variety of cow's milk, goat's milk and sheep's milk cheeses.
Well ladies and gentlemen.. After a three and a half hour, seven course meal with several cutlery changes during the meal, MD and DK were the two most happiest folks on this side of phase earth, although DK bore a slightly significant dent to his wallet!!!
Huge shout out and thank you to Frank McClelland and the numerous gentlemen and the single lady who served us.. I have never eaten such an intensely flavorful meal in my entire life ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And last but not the least a thank you to my husband Deepaku who picked this place, made the reservation and gave me a beautiful meal and memory..
An avid foodie, I watch the Food Network channel and over the last 2 years learned quite a bit about the difficulties of gourmet cooking. So I appreciated the meal from all angles.
Us Indians have unique food tastes and almost each state in the country has their own unique cuisine just like our languages. But just we say in India there is "Unity in Diversity", there is a unity in our food. Our savories are deliciously savory and most of our sweets are jarringly sweet. Watching our mothers(and their mothers) cook we know that a dollop of ghee(clarified butter) will take a dish to new heights, a dash of milk will give any base a creamier texture and frying anything will make it taste better. So.. French food was a unique experience for me and I had an epiphany. Ah well it isn't exactly an epiphany if dozens of people already know about it but whatever they say about the French it is all true.
Our evening started out with small cheese puffs, which were little bite sized pieces of heaven. I think they were filled with a goat cheese and the pastry shell was just the right bit of flaky. Very quickly our waitress(I am not even sure if I should call her that) came to help us out with the menu( which was primarily in French - which neither my husband nor I know) She suggested we try the autumn degustation on the vegetarian version. Having lived in the States for a couple of years now I am aware of the limitations of knowledge people have about vegetarian food, deeming us to be eating grass most of the time.. So, I had steeled myself to significantly watered down fare.. To add to my fears our hostess said "Don't worry you won't go out of here hungry". It immediately got me thinking "Oh no!! We need to go hunt out some place to eat something on the way home.." But boy oh boy! was I wrong!!!! Shortly afterward we were served appetizers which were once again out of this world. Mine was a little mashed potato dipped in egg and rolled in bread crumbs and Deepak's was a variation on coleslaw.. Reading about it would make them seem like everyday dishes but the flavors were intense.. The chef was able to intensify the flavors of the creamy potato and the egg. I could taste the egg as well as the potato as well as each single bread crumb!!!!! I got a single one and I thought (ever the skeptic) with such small portions I am never going to feel full.. As soon as our plates were removed and our cutlery replaced the soup was brought out.. What I want to keep stressing is that the dishes sound everyday but the flavors were anything but.. Now coming back.. we had cauliflower soup (which based on my attempts at it - can be significantly bland) but quoting Deepak " tasted like amrutham". We were offered a choice of Sourdough, Foccacia,Walnut and a Kalamata Olive bread with little pats of butter. I had the Foccacia and the Olive ones while Deepak had the other two and although I have eaten the Foccacia before never ever ever had such airy bread before.. The Olive bread was also delicious and intense. Our salad course was a tad difficult for me because of the arugala being a tad too spicy for my liking. But again the salad was a combination of sweet and spicy and a bit of tangy thrown in for good measure. Hence the one dish hit different portions of my pallete which never before have had to work all at once. Our main course was slightly Thai based. Dumplings stuffed with ginger and other seasonal vegetables but primarily the ginger taste coming through. They were flanking a blanched Sweet Potato(which I thought was initially mango or papayya - purely based on the visual) which was on a bed of arugala. It came with a bright red bell pepper sauce and was an appealing visual as much as it was to eat. There was also a bite of slightly grilled pineapple. By the end of this Deepak and I were in 7th heaven and mentally blowing kisses to the chef. Our waiter had mentioned that the chef is known for his Risotto and hence I was eagerly awaiting it. Knowing the effort that goes into making the Risotto I wanted to taste this labour of love. And did it live upto its name or what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Creamy Risotto with some kind of cheese it melted upon hitting the tongue. I am a fan and am now tempted to make it at home though I know that I could never ever re-create the magic.. Post the Risotto yours truly was full beyond measure. I have never been this full in the last 15 years of my life. I can say that confidently because as a kid when we used to go out I have gotten this full. And like a miracle they knew we would be full and waited a bit before they brought on the next course. The next course was a tropical fruit gellato with air bubbles on the side..I mean seriously, it wont do justice to call it foam but if you guys have watched any gourmet cooking show on tv you know what I am talking about!! Now, I am averse to any tropical fruits besides banana but the passion fruit with a hint of peach(thanks to Deepak for discovering this taste) and the tang of the grapefruit. For the first time in my 24 year exsistance I discovered the meaning of the expression melt in your mouth. It just literally melted in my mouth (especially the foam item). We then had our desert course which was again(how does he do it?????????) hitting different palletes (and all were sweet mind you).. One was a Banana flavored Chocolate cream, there was also a marshmellow, a chocolate mousse, yummmo Vanilla Ice cream, and more foam!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And of course little candles, as we were celebrating a special occasion in our lives.. Now yours truly was offered and accepted a cappuchino during my desert course, and I had prepared myself as most would that it would taste bitter because of the desert. I was speechless..It stood its ground in spite of the desert. I saved myself some ice -cream to keep an after taste in my mouth (thanks to Dhanalakshmi whom I have been frnds with for too long)
Oh and I almost forgot, we had a cheese course before our desert..... Deepak who is not normally a fan of the cheese loved this experience as much as yours truly who will eat cheese in any which form, shape or size.. I cannot say the names of most of the cheeses I ate, though I did save the menu but every single bite was different from the rest.. We had a variety of cow's milk, goat's milk and sheep's milk cheeses.
Well ladies and gentlemen.. After a three and a half hour, seven course meal with several cutlery changes during the meal, MD and DK were the two most happiest folks on this side of phase earth, although DK bore a slightly significant dent to his wallet!!!
Huge shout out and thank you to Frank McClelland and the numerous gentlemen and the single lady who served us.. I have never eaten such an intensely flavorful meal in my entire life ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And last but not the least a thank you to my husband Deepaku who picked this place, made the reservation and gave me a beautiful meal and memory..
Monday, December 01, 2008
Asked to be tagged
Normally I dont force people to tag me... LOL!!! he he.. But this time I requested I be tagged by Sam I have a final in about 3 days and as usual I am sitting here writing blog post. Here goes..
Your oldest memories
1) Watching Dalapathi with my dad in Devi theatre (I think)
2) Getting ready to go to Hyd after final exam(same day) to catch the Hyderabad Express.
3) Spending hours at R's house playing with her Baby Alive
What were you doing 10 years ago?
10 years ago I was 14. So I was in 10th. And you know all the good stuff that happens with board exams etc.. But I also remember Phanindra's tution and the irritating folks who went there..(Not you Archu) I meant the others!!! It was also the time when I was finding out about myself and I made frnds with K who I am frnds with till date.. I also discovered the value of my math teacher Mrs.Grace whom I hated with a vengeance before that. It was also the year I read "Not Without My Daughter" for the first time. I was also living in the Lloyds Road house where everyone around me went to DAV... Ah I can go on and on.. I think I also read Sidney Sheldon's Tell me Your Dreams coz V made me go to Eashwari and borrow it. I also think I read the un-abridged Pygmalion that year..
Your first thought in the morning
This morning it was Thank God it is Monday..ha ha..(I dont work on Mondays you see). I usually think about what I need to get done that day. Earlier it used to be what should I wear..
If you built a time capsule it would have
Two of everything.. ha ha ha..
This year..
I started my masters which was sort of my dream. I also think I improved as a cook, fell all over in love again with my husband, missed my frnds, have two licenses in two countries where people drive on opposite sides of the road, grew up in ways I could never imagine!!!
What do you see yourself doing 14 years from now
Who knows?? I don't think that much in advance.. I am a live in the moment kind of grl..No not really!! ha ha.. I probably plan a few months in advance.. More than a decade no way..
Your oldest memories
1) Watching Dalapathi with my dad in Devi theatre (I think)
2) Getting ready to go to Hyd after final exam(same day) to catch the Hyderabad Express.
3) Spending hours at R's house playing with her Baby Alive
What were you doing 10 years ago?
10 years ago I was 14. So I was in 10th. And you know all the good stuff that happens with board exams etc.. But I also remember Phanindra's tution and the irritating folks who went there..(Not you Archu) I meant the others!!! It was also the time when I was finding out about myself and I made frnds with K who I am frnds with till date.. I also discovered the value of my math teacher Mrs.Grace whom I hated with a vengeance before that. It was also the year I read "Not Without My Daughter" for the first time. I was also living in the Lloyds Road house where everyone around me went to DAV... Ah I can go on and on.. I think I also read Sidney Sheldon's Tell me Your Dreams coz V made me go to Eashwari and borrow it. I also think I read the un-abridged Pygmalion that year..
Your first thought in the morning
This morning it was Thank God it is Monday..ha ha..(I dont work on Mondays you see). I usually think about what I need to get done that day. Earlier it used to be what should I wear..
If you built a time capsule it would have
Two of everything.. ha ha ha..
This year..
I started my masters which was sort of my dream. I also think I improved as a cook, fell all over in love again with my husband, missed my frnds, have two licenses in two countries where people drive on opposite sides of the road, grew up in ways I could never imagine!!!
What do you see yourself doing 14 years from now
Who knows?? I don't think that much in advance.. I am a live in the moment kind of grl..No not really!! ha ha.. I probably plan a few months in advance.. More than a decade no way..
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