Sunday, October 08, 2017


One feels that time is rushing by. I feel it the most when I look at my children. The two babies I held in the crook of my arm, one too big for me to carry already. The hugs are slowing down from Big V and Lil V who wants to copy his brother so his hugs are slowing down. In a typical paradox of parenthood - I wait for a moment when my children don't need me, and miss them when they are off doing things by themselves. 

The way time seems to be rushing by I feel it will be tomorrow that they are off to college and I will be looking back at this blog post with nostalgia...

Tuesday, September 26, 2017


About a month ago today we hit a couple of milestones in the house of V & V. Big V started public kindergarten and Lil V turned 2. This means we can officially stop counting his age in months and switch to years!!!

Big V has been taking the school bus every morning and this involves frantic morning dashes to make the bus. As I am getting stuff ready in the morning for him I wonder if mornings were this challenging for my parents. I don't remember being packed meals which came in thermos's for hot food and variety everyday and a fruit and a desert. I got one thing in a stainless steel dabba and that is what I ate. When I was older, occasionally my mother would give me money to buy food in the canteen which was this rickety old tin box with a man in it who sold samosas and chocolates etc. But here I am planning out meal plans and ensuring that there is a main meal and there is a desert and there is a fruit.

Wednesday, April 12, 2017


One day when Veer was about a week old, I was holding him in my arms and putting him to sleep. There was no one else in the room with me in that noisy house. It was just him and me and for a moment, just a moment I felt the presence of God in the room with me and my child. Everything went quiet and all the fatigue & frustration faded away and for that moment I felt a divine presence and a oneness with my son. 

With Vaasu on the other hand, I have not been his primary giver until very recently. Plagued by health problems, I just haven't been able to give him the one on one attention that his brother got in his early stages. But yesterday, in the warm sunshine of a New England spring Vaasu and I were sitting on my porch watching the construction workers and hearing the neighbour's chickens and again for a fleeting moment, I felt the same divine presence and a oneness with this boy. It was about 20 months in the making but the exact same thing happened where, all noose ceased to exist and it was just me and my smiling baby.

Monday, February 06, 2017

Musings on a childhood

Someone once asked me if I felt I missed having siblings and was fine being a single child. How does one answer that question? I don't know anything else. How can I miss something I never had? To their credit my parents never made me feel that I missed out on anything and I don't ever remember asking my parents for a brother or sister. When I was very young ( the age when I could probably have asked that question) we lived as a joint family. My cousin brother is 10 months younger than me and he was pretty much in the picture since I could remember and as I got older being a single child was/is the only life I know. 

I have been blessed with an AMAZING set of cousins. My maternal cousins and I are quite close and I know that if I am ever in a situation that would warrant sibling support all of them have got my back. Most of my childhood memories are of summers in my uncle's apartment in Hyderabad. All of us cousins would somehow fit into a two bedroom apartment and have a ball. We had the typically indulgent grandparents both of whom were amazing cooks! I remember sitting down to card games after dinner and playing well into the night. I remember my uncle invariably yelling at us to keep the voice levels down so as not to wake the neighbors. I remember my aunt bringing home cream puffs home from work.  I believe in the energy of places and to me that house is a place filled with love and a whole lot of positive energy. 

I make friends easily. In school I straddled two rival gangs quite easily. But I find it hard to open up 100% to anyone. I can't say I had a best friend to whom I could bare my soul. Maybe this is an offshoot of being a single child but I used to try to be Ms.Congeniality. I didn't pick fights easily. In fact I rarely fought. In all 14 years of school I remember one fight in 4th standard and I am good friends with that girl till date. Kiki is my best friend from school. A very unlikely friendship, it has lasted through the years and we can truly go years without talking to just pick back up where we left off.

My school shaped me into what I am today and even though I may have forgotten how to balance chemical equations, the values that my wonderful teachers instilled in me are still there. I took part in a lot of debate and dramatic competitions and had the gift of the gab! I was house captain of my house and I have a trophy to prove it. My mother wasn't too happy about this as she felt it would take away from my studies in 12th standard but it was a dream and she was very proud of me at the investiture ceremony. Only the parents of the school leaders are invited to attend and I have a picture of my parents standing on either side of me beaming proudly as I held the house flag in my hands.

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Monkey Tricks & Growing up in Black and White

Before he walked independently Kutty V used to push a little green plastic chair around for support. He can now walk independently and moves like a bite sized tornado! In the morning rush earlier today, I watched him pushing his chair and didn’t think much about it. My lil monkey then proceeded to push it all the way to the kitchen island, start climbing it to get the water jug that was on top of the counter – all in a bid to create a water puddle in which he can play!!!

Veer and I were watching the classic oldie “Jeena Issi Ka Naam Hai” on our iPad.

He says to me “Mom, the video is in black, white & grey.”

Me: “Yes, this is really old Veer, like when tata was a little boy.”

Veer: “Mom were you black and white while growing up?”

Just how old does he think I am??? 

Thursday, September 08, 2016

My chalk and cheese

I just realized that I haven’t blogged too much about Kutty V. He just turned one a couple of weeks ago and I feel that the year has flown by in a blink. My two boys are as different as chalk and cheese! They also look as different as chalk and cheese except when they are sleeping and then they look exactly alike!  As a single child, I never quite get sibling dynamics and at the ripe old age of 32 I will never get it! It will always be something that is exclusive to both the boys and that I can never be a part of. It amazes me that a 4.5 year old will give up his toys and literally do anything to make this 1 year old smile and laugh. And this 1 year old will call and shout and basically do anything to attract his older brother’s attention. Kutty V can wave hello and bye. He can give us a high five. He can climb stairs and is figuring out how to climb down. He climbs into and squats in his brother’s “Veer” chair and attempts to play with all of Veer’s action figures before he wakes up. He thinks he is having a very serious conversation sometimes and yells at us when he is mad. He shakes his head when he doesn’t want something and he is almost ready for the big boy car seat!

I have been more chilled out with Vaasu’s first year than with Veer’s first year. I promised our pediatrician that I will not freak out about every little cough and sniffle and I didn’t. In certain ways, I have cherished Kutty V’s year one differently from Big V’s. Because all said and done, he is probably my last and I know that I will never experience these firsts again.

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Judging and Being Judgmental (Or Plain Mental!)

Some people are born without filters in their head! You know the one that says – “Wait a minute, What you are saying sounds completely inappropriate/moronic/offensive etc.” Recently, I am encountering grown – ups who seem to have lost that filter! Under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t care how people behave or what people say. But the reason for this whole post is that I have to deal with these filterless people and the total nonsense they are spewing! At the expense of being totally bitchy, I wish to develop such an annoying habit and annoy people. I know that I will never do that knowingly. I will quietly accept it and then proceed to rant with D or you my readers.

All my married life, I have dealt with in-appropriate “aunty” questions.  You know the questions people ask when they have nothing to say to you. “When do you plan to have kids” tops that list. Now since they cannot ask me that anymore (Take that aunties!!) I thought I was done with that question! Recently, I had a friend and her family over for dinner and I encountered a variation of this question that left me quite speechless. Let me proceed to recite the event as it happened.

Uncle to me: How long have you lived in the US.
Me (Smiling): I have lived here exactly 10 years uncle. I will be married 10 years this year.
Aunty to me: So you had kids late!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Filter aunty, filter. Think about what you are saying! You don’t know my circumstances. I don’t need to explain to you when and why I chose to have my beautiful babies.