Judging and Being Judgmental (Or Plain Mental!)

Some people are born without filters in their head! You know the one that says – “Wait a minute, What you are saying sounds completely inappropriate/moronic/offensive etc.” Recently, I am encountering grown – ups who seem to have lost that filter! Under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t care how people behave or what people say. But the reason for this whole post is that I have to deal with these filterless people and the total nonsense they are spewing! At the expense of being totally bitchy, I wish to develop such an annoying habit and annoy people. I know that I will never do that knowingly. I will quietly accept it and then proceed to rant with D or you my readers.

All my married life, I have dealt with in-appropriate “aunty” questions.  You know the questions people ask when they have nothing to say to you. “When do you plan to have kids” tops that list. Now since they cannot ask me that anymore (Take that aunties!!) I thought I was done with that question! Recently, I had a friend and her family over for dinner and I encountered a variation of this question that left me quite speechless. Let me proceed to recite the event as it happened.

Uncle to me: How long have you lived in the US.

Me (Smiling): I have lived here exactly 10 years uncle. I will be married 10 years this year.

Aunty to me: So you had kids late!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Filter aunty, filter. Think about what you are saying! You don’t know my circumstances. I don’t need to explain to you when and why I chose to have my beautiful babies.

If you can't fly then run...

As if I don’t have enough craziness in my life at the moment, we sold and bought a home in the last month! I would not recommend people take this project on when they have an infant, a young one and health problems that seriously inhibit ability to lift/load boxes. To say that it was the most stressful time of my life would be putting it mildly. But it CAN be done and even through the madness I was telling D that it will help me feel that I can accomplish something. Of course, it wouldn’t be possible without the incredible support of my wonderful husband D. Now comes the fun second part – unpacking all the said boxes that have been packed. In an ironical twist of events, I have become obsessed with getting rid of belongings beyond what is necessary for our functioning. Why is it ironical you ask? Because we moved from a small home to a significantly larger home that is capable of storing all the stuff that has accumulated over the years.  My strategy is to remove all objects that I have sentimental value too but don’t actually use, clothes that I “hope” to fit into one day, street jewelry from college days that are no longer fashionable, baby stuff that both my little ones have outgrown/don’t use anymore. I have been donating or trashing as is applicable. It feels good! It feels incredibly good to be clutter free.

As I have mentioned in past posts having two children can sometimes feel like life is spinning out of control. I have adopted a few little strategies to make me “feel” better. I have made a resolution to unpack atleast one box a day - Now that could be a big giant box (if I had the time, like on a weekend) or a tiny little one if it was one of those crazy weekday evenings. The second one, I need to loose the pregnancy weight I gained with my first baby (4 years ago!!) and with my health conditions this is quite a challenge. I aim to hit the treadmill (the exercise that I CAN do with all my health issues) for 30 minutes, 3 times a week. So far I am up to 2 times and finally last week, I hit 3 times. Even if I am exhausted, frustrated or in pain (my three predominant emotions nowadays) I put on the socks and sneakers and head down to the basement. I have stopped watching talk shows or movies at this time but blast music. Admittedly this is Bollywood, Tollywood or Kollywood music from the early 2000s but the rule is it is fist pumping music that keeps me going. My pace is slow, it takes me over 20 minutes to cover a mile. So in 30 minutes I am not much over the one mile mark but at the moment, it is consistency I am looking for. Not sooo much the pace or the calorie loss. And last but not the least, I am taking a 15 minute for myself before I go to bed to read a book, browse Facebook or catch up on the news.

Is life perfect? Far from it. I still don’t get a word in with my spouse at home. I don’t get enough one on one time with Big V as I would like. I am pretty much catering non-stop to my family’s needs from the time I open my eyes. However, I feel good that I am in control with sections of my life. During one of the low moments I saw a quote that has stuck. I have it up on a sticky note at work:

If you can’t fly then run.

If you can’t run then walk

If you can’t walk then crawl

But whatever you do you have to keep moving forward